Recently, apart from the homecoming of a very famous preacher William Franklin Graham, another well-known preacher of the older generation Bian Yun Bo also passed away lately. He has written a poem called “For all the unknown preacher”. About 30 years ago I received his hand draft. At that time I read one chapter every day and was touched. He and some brothers and sisters who were committed to bring the gospel to north west border of China were caught to jail in 1950s. Some workers died for Jesus, and their bodies disappeared. They faced extreme difficulties and sadness and wrote a book called “broken letters of returning to Kashi”. I want to share his first chapter with you.
Am I still living?
I am still living but like I am dying. I seem to be awake but seem to be dreaming. I am living but it is not me, it is Jesus who is living in me.
Am I still living?
I remember 35 years ago when I left Kashi, the city was full of Egyptian style clay houses. Today I got off the long distance bus, and saw modernized tall buildings. I was surprised, is this the old city Kashi of the silk road? Was it where I was in jail? At that year noises of my fetters stroke the street. The elders before the clay houses looked at my fetters and wondered “what great sin this person has committed?”
I remember that year was in cold winter, one morning I was in my fetters, in the tumbril having to leave this city. I turned my head to watch the old city under the sun. It seemed it way saying to me, “May you come back alive with the name of Jesus!”My family, if they know that their family member has to leave them forever, must also looked at their family member in tears and say”May you come back alive with the name of Jesus!”
Yes, the name of Jesus has never left me. I was in prison, I was in fetters, being bitten, being ticked, being scolded, being murder, laid on the snow, in dark prison, stood on ice naked, sick and was in coal field, lived with bugs, stayed with dead bodies and lived with jackal, being bitten and bear feet. Bing pulled to capital station and being pulled down. My bones seemed broken and yet it was not hurt. I seemed to be passed away and yet still alive. All these is not because I have committed one sin, but because of the name of Jesus Christ.
Am I alive?
I feel I have died long, long time and nobody remember (Psalms 31:12). No, I member in 1958 there was a big storm, and I was in fetters and was being pushed into a “dark prison”with no light that would sure die. My ear was full of noise of terror: “if you reject the only way ahead is sure die”…when the iron door was locked with a loud noise, I heard an authoritative noise saying” you will not die but live and be my witness” (Psalm 118:17)
Thirty one year has passed, this voice made me still alive and fetters was dropped from my body. I made me still witness for him in XinJing.
How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. (1 Corinthians 15:36)